20
2009
Everyone Poops: Top 7 Absurd Actual Books on Amazon
An article by TheEvilGenius
I came up with the idea for this article while surfing for some new books on Amazon. I was looking for a book on the great depression, and accidentally typed “everyones poop” instead of “everyones poor.” Much to my amusement, a book came to the top of the list.
In a childish fit of laughter, I started looking for other weird stuff on Amazon.
Below are my Top 7.
Number 7:
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How to Be Pope: What to Do and Where to Go Once You’re in the Vatican Good things. Fantastic read for all the aspiring popes out there.
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Number 6:
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The Big Book Of Lesbian Horse Stories Now is that lesbian horse on horse love, or 2 lesbians with a male horse, or a girl with a female horse? Whichever. I’m down. You had me at hello.
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Number 5:
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How to Read a Book Am I the only one that gets the irony here? Next in the series, Motzart for the deaf.
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Number 4
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The Stray Shopping Carts of Eastern North America: A Guide to Field Identification One word. Finally.
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Number 3
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People Who Don’t Know They’re Dead: How They Attach Themselves to Unsuspecting Bystanders and What to Do About It That explains the voices in my head. I’m totally an unsuspecting bystander.
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Number 2
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101 Super Uses for Tampon Applicators I’ll add: Use 102: Take 20 applicators, fill with double fudge frosting. Stuff in wifes mouth and secure with duct tape. Provides both necessary chocolate intake and prevents her from bitching for 3-6 days. Use 103: Now using as ad-hoc splint to mend my severed penis after suggestion 102.
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And Number 1
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Everyone Poops A classic by any standard. As a side note, my own informal findings dispute this supposed “law” of nature. I surveyed 12 women aged 19-34, and they ALL assured me that they, in fact, did not poop.
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Editors note: Since this is also a business blog, editor had replaced deeply offensive words with politically correct synonyms.
For #6, I guess it’s ok if it’s a big horse (pee pee)? Like, if they stuff the horse (pee pee) up their sloppy (yum yum) they’re still (Americans of suitable sexual variation) because it’s not human so technically it’s only bestiality?
By the way, his blog is a friggin riot…and not censored. Check it out.
http://www.mindofspaz.com
If there is a publishing crisis, how did these get printed and out the door?
But for the record, one of my my back-up career plans has always included conversion to Catholicism and becoming Pope. (Have you seen his house in Rome? It’s HUGE! That book could help big time, I understand Catholics have a lot of tradition and stuff.
Just installing the twitter id field to comments. Pay me no mind
Grr. still not working.
Still trying to get it to work
friggin php. anybody got a slide ruler or something?
still testing the friggin twitter thing
Yay. I’m a friggin bagenius!
Time for my 10am Scotch!
Now to pretty it up. Scotch in hand.
I rock. It’s done.
Thanks to Darrwn Rowse for the walkthrough.
http://www.problogger.net/archives/2008/11/22/how-i-added-the-twitter-id-field-to-comments-on-twitipcom/
Hey Dan,
I’ve read your blog. If you decide to become pope, I’m totally voting for you.
JJ,
I have several slide rules. Would you like to borrow one?
Phil,
As usual, I have ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA what you are talking about.
JJ,
to quote a great man:
February 21st, 2009 at 11:16 am
friggin php. anybody got a slide ruler or something?
Time delay between posts I guess.
I see that setting up an avatar on gravatar.com works retroactively.