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Marketing Strategy Metrics: Supermodels vs. The Band Geeks

Filed in Marketing on Mar.09, 2009Print This Post Print This Post

Subtitle: The science behind why you suck… and finding a happy medium.

Over the last few days I have been talking to an old partner who is now a fancy pants director at a big consulting firm in charge of growing a new division. 

As we discussed how his marketing funnel is tiered and contact points of different classes of prospects, I immediately noticed that my discussion went straight towards the metrics of each group.

  [Read the rest of this entry...]

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Housing Market Bailout and a Stupid Stupid Whore

Filed in Fun and Rants, Lifestyle & Freedom on Mar.06, 2009Print This Post Print This Post

I was watching the daily show the other night where Jon Stewart lambasted the “expert advice” of  CNBC and Rick Santelli specifically on his “Fu&c the homeowners” rant on Wall Street. Pretty funny. Don’t need to watch the whole thing. A few minutes should give you the gist.

And I agree with Stewart for the most part, but having been a real estate broker myself at the height of the flip ‘n greed phase, I’m also a bit in the “fu*k the homeowner” camp too. 

  [Read the rest of this entry...]

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ShortBusHumor.com is now LIVE!

Filed in Fun and Rants on Mar.05, 2009Print This Post Print This Post

I just wanted to drop a quick note on the blog to let you hooligans know that we have a new web site in our expanding army!  While you guys were twirling your thumbs, we have been spending hours day(s) creating a new site.

http://www.shortbushumor.com

Remember the name, it’s gonna be HUGE!

  [Read the rest of this entry...]

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Please don’t laugh while you are holding my penis

Filed in Fun and Rants, Marketing on Mar.03, 2009Print This Post Print This Post

I’ve just returned from a doctor’s appointment and I thought I would share an uncomfortable story with you. Hopefully I can entertain you at my own expense while sharing a important lesson about using humor inappropriately. Let me add that while this may tickle your funnybone, I can assure you, my bone was altogether un-tickled at the time.


[Read the rest of this entry...]

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Small Business Marketing – Growth Stage 3b: Meeting Demand

Filed in Marketing, Product Development on Feb.27, 2009Print This Post Print This Post

Yes, crazy demand is a problem that you want to have.  But when you are in the trenches, there is nothing fun about it (Well it is for me, but I’m a freak). Things are going crazy, you are going crazy - You are simply too busy to think, never mind think strategically. 

In this phase, it will seem like everything has gone to shit - Probably because it has. 

I would love to be able to write an article that shows you how to meet demand across any industry, but the truth is, there are so many case specific scenarios that this post would be better fit for a hardcover book, than a few page blog post.

[Read the rest of this entry...]

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Tutorial: How to add Twitter Link to Wordpress Comments

Filed in Blog,Tech & Tutorials, Video on Feb.24, 2009Print This Post Print This Post

This video is designed to help you add a twitter id field to your comments section, and to have the visitors twitter ID show up as a reply link in their comment.

The link to the original tutorial is below. I made this video if you are too retarded to follow his excellent instructions and screw it up like I did. I’ll show you where the screw up point are, and what to do when you do screw up.

[Read the rest of this entry...]

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How to Make the Big Bucks: Keep it emotional

Filed in Marketing on Feb.23, 2009Print This Post Print This Post

 In my personal life, I’m a logical dude.  I don’t get frazzled easily, I always play the Devils Advocate (which pisses my wife off to no end) and I really try to see both sides of the story. 

In my business life I am the same. I’m a strategist and planner.  I’m a big communicator and try to keep the work environment fun and stimulating. 

But when I am marketing, I realize that the big kicker, the place you find all your profit margins, is in selling to peoples emotion. [Read the rest of this entry...]

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Everyone Poops: Top 7 Absurd Actual Books on Amazon

Filed in Fun and Rants on Feb.20, 2009Print This Post Print This Post

I came up with the idea for this article while surfing for some new books on Amazon. I was looking for a book on the great depression, and accidentally typed “everyones poop” instead of “everyones poor.” Much to my amusement, a book came to the top of the list.

In a childish fit of laughter, I started looking for other weird stuff on Amazon.

Below are my Top 7.
[Read the rest of this entry...]

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Will You All Please Shut Up! You are NOT a “guru”…

Filed in Fun and Rants, Marketing on Feb.19, 2009Print This Post Print This Post

How Even the Biggest IM “gurus’ are closer to your local dentist than they are to a Rock Star…and let me prove it to you 

 I think I am totally losing it…and I hope some of you will comment and reassure me that it is not only me feeling this. 

For the love of GOD, will everybody on the internet stop over-inflating themselves by creatively wordsmithing their bios, site traffic, and sales?  Can we revert to some plain old-fashioned honesty for a while.

 <–This picture will make sense in the article. It’s a metaphor silly.

  [Read the rest of this entry...]

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6 Tips for Using Humor in your Marketing

Filed in Marketing on Feb.18, 2009Print This Post Print This Post

If you know me personally, or have read my articles before, you know I am a goofball. There is nothing subtle about me or my sense of humor. I’m sure a psychoanalyst could write reams of data about what is wrong with me. I’m blatant, crude, way over the top, off-color, and often offensive.

But that is me and my blog, NOT my work as either a consultant or as a marketing executive in my previous life. Because my blog is personal (as I think all good ones should be) it is the genuine me, burrs and all. [Read the rest of this entry...]

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